The Other Woman

We can talk for hours or minutes,
Seconds or days.
It has always been this way,
Ever since I dropped by your work
On my way back from a concert.
Later, we're at your house
And you kiss me,
I react to your touch more than
I have to anyone else's.
Somehow you slipped through walls
That I had thought unbreachable.
That scared me so I chased you off,
Hoped and feared you hated me.

Now I have a boyfriend,
He says he loves me, and treats me with care.
Then he wants to fuck all the time
And I'm tired and I have to be up at 7:30.
I let him touch me so I can go back to sleep.

You shattered your leg and you should be dead,
Doped up on Vicodin, you ask someone else out.
You still hate me and she accepts.
We don't talk for a long time.

Now you message me,
"Things aren't going so good," you say.
We start talking again.
I missed you, but I can't say it.
We talk for a long time, a couple of months,
Then you invite me over.

We sit and watch TV and drink,
We talk, and laugh,
We remember how things used to be,
Before I got scared.
We fall into bed with each other
And when morning comes
Neither of us tell.
We see each other once a week now.

Now it's a month or so later.
Now my boyfriend is jealous and he won't tell me,
Throws a tantrum whenever I forget something.
He makes me cry and you listen.
Now your girlfriend is tearing you apart,
You don't want to hurt her
So I listen and try to mend the chaos she causes.
We keep falling into bed with each other.
I am the Other Woman.

Summer

The stars are chips of ice
Scattered across black velvet
In the dark night skies.
It is summer
And night is warm.
A firefly lights my skin,
My very own star,
Before it flies away again.
Things are okay in this moment,
Nothing is wrong
And the cold, empty, hungry darkness
That live inside me is quiet for now.
I am at peace,
Lying in the tall grass
Looking up at the stars.
The crickets play for me,
Quiet when I first laid down,
But now they are use to me
And they are louder than my
Heaviest music.
No one can find me here,
In this place.
I am safe here,
At least for tonight.
A cool breeze caresses my face,
Drifting over my skin,
Familiar as a lover.
I relax under it's touch
And my eyes drift closed.
I feel beautiful in the darkness
On this night.
One of many
In the
Summer.

So Many Dead Letters

So many dead letters dance across
So many dead pages dance,
The letters into words, meaningless,
Unless their ink turn to blood.
I won’t be
What you want me to be,
I won’t ever fucking change,
I won’t ever fit in this life that you have envisioned for me,
I won’t ever be the you that you never got to be.
I have my own mind now,
I have my own life now,
So you can take back the ones you forced me into.
Unlock these chains,
Unlock these manacles,
Unlock this collar.
Let me be free
For the first time
In Eternity.

Breaking Point

Why does everything
Feel like it's ending?
Twisting,
Writhing,
Bending,
Breaking.

A circle,
A chain,
A never-ending cycle.

Birth
And Death.

Love
And Hate.

Serenity
And Rage.

A circle,
A chain,
This never-ending cycle.

A circle,
A chain,
Forever winding.

So why does everything
Feel like it's ending?

Gilded Chains

Your wings carry- carried-
The weight of misfourtunes,
'Til they shattered
From that terrible weight.

Now your feet shall
Never leave this ground,
This cursed and tainted soil.
And what your wings once bore
So mine now do as well.

Now I hear
What you once heard,
Those cries of pain,
Those cries of fear,
Those cries of the lost, the abandoned.

Now I see
What you once saw,
Those bruised and battered faces,
Those invisible and forgotten faces.

Now I feel
What you once felt,
Those wounds that weep the crimson tears,
Those bones broken by the angered fist.

On that day,
So long, long ago,
That day the light left your skyed eyes,
That day you lost your
Wings,
Your freedom.

That terrible, horrible day,
That day you wings turned to dust,
That day you lost the memories as well.

You lost those memories,
Shoved them in a blackened closet,
So far away,
Is that corner of your minded soul.

You've locked that door,
You've lost that key,
And now you see
These chains,
These gilded iron links,
Now you see these chains
As freedom.

Tell Me Why

Why such a sad face, love?
Why such sad eyes?
Why such a dark and cloying
Shadow over your heart?

Why so many scars, love?
Why so many tears?
Why such a flat and dead
Voice?

Where have you gone,
So far that you cannot return
To me, love?

To far to the darkness?
To far to the mist?
To far from the light
Of the lightning,
Of the moon?

Why won't you tell, love?
Tell me, love?
Tell me why you are so sad,
So afraid,
So that I may try to help,
Try to heal.

I remember, long ago
It seems now,
Though in truth
Not that long, a month at most.
I remember the one I loved,
The one whose eyes always smiled.

Now those smiling eyes
Are tired, red from crying.
Now there are scars
Running up your arms.

Tell me, love!
Please, my love,
Tell me why you hurt,
Tell me why you cry,
Tell me why!
You injure me, love.

Burns and cuts,
Clove cigarettes and razorblades,
So much pain.
Let it go, love.
Let it go and stay.

Stay whole and healthy,
Unaddicted to that rush,
That pain,
That blood.

I know, love,
You know I know.
I know how addicting it is.
That pain, it hurts at first,
It stings, but then the chemicals rush
Through the brain,
Channels away the pain,
Makes you high.

I know the blood looks
So beautiful,
Glinting black in the moon's light,
Crimson running down
Pale skin,
Pale from being hidden from the sun,
Hidden because of the scars,
That macabre ladder.

I know how you feel,
Just not why.
Everyone has their reasons,
Different and alike.
I know how you feel, love,
Just not why.

Romano Drom

To each their own life,
Long and winding,
To each their own road,
Long and winding.

I've known you for
To short a time, love,
Perhaps
A mile or two.

But in those miles
Something changed,
My heartbeat changed,
Sped and slowed,
Beating with yours, love.

We've laughed,
We've joked,
We've tormented,
We've shared the same
Teachers and times,
But never the same
Road.

Bahtalo drom, love,
Follow a good road, love,
Follow your own
And never let anyone
Drag you to theirs.
Bahtalo drom, love,
Follow your own.

A New Beginning

Emerge
From the darkness,
And heal
Your broken wings.
Strech the black feathered
Muscles, bones, sinews.
Run quickly,
My raven,
Fly high,
My crow.
Reach towards
The sun,
The flowers
Are growing again.

And Know...

Why is it
That the moon
Cries?
Is it that she
Is weak,
Pitiful?
No.

It is because
She sees all.
All the murder,
All the addiction,
All the rape,
All the abuse.

Every night,
All nights.
All nights until
She is weary,
Weary of the anger,
The hatred,
The pain.

She turns her face away,
Trying to hide,
Until she remembers the ones
Who are murdered,
Who are addicted,
Who are raped,
Who are abused.

And she remembers
Their tears,
Reflecting silver
In her light.

She remembers that
She is their strength,
Their guidance,
Their solace.

And she turns
Her face,
Pale with all she has seen,
Back towards us.

So look to the skies,
You injured,
You addicted,
You abused,
You fearful.

Look to the skies
Her broken-winged children.
Look to the skies
And know...

True Lie

I'm sick of lying,
So tired of crying.
Ask me a question
I'll answer you truly.

I'm so tired of the pity
In their eyes,
Eyes misted with tears.

So sick of their questions,
'Are you ok?'
Over and over and over.
I AM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE!!!

Stop asking me to tell you
That I won't do it again.
Stop bringing it up.
Stop with the hate
Stop with the anger
Stop with the guilt.

Leave me to my peace,
Leave me to my silence,
Leave me to my friends.
My friends treat me the same,
They laugh and joke the same
I pray that they never treat me differently.

Each day passes,
Sun to moon to sun
Day to night to day.
Once the sun sets the day is gone,
Not to be brought back.

The past has been written in lines,
In flesh and blood,
I remember it.
That is all you need to know.
I remember the pain that it brought to others,
I remember the guilt and the accusations.
It won't happen again.

Memories of the Skies

Her wings ache,
The wings no longer there.
They're gone, lost,
Like dust in a storm,
She lost them the day she lost
Her heart.

So long ago it was,
So many days ago,
So many years ago.
What was it like to have one?
She doesn't know.

She had given it away,
So careless,
Gave it to a boy who didn't even know.
The pain wasn't there at first,
But then he died,
She went away,
And now her heart wanders the depths
Of the Underworld.

Her body remembers the skies,
The winds, the cold.
Her eyes remember the ground,
Small and far away.
Her shoulders remember the wings,
Fragile as glass, stronger than dragon scales,
Feathered as they were
With reds and golds and dark greens.

She hurts,
Needing to fly again,
Be above it all,
Her body remembers,
Her eyes remember,
Her shoulders remember,
She remembers
All the memories of the skies.

Sing Me a Song

Sing me a song, my true love Tomorrow,
Sing me a song, my true love Today.
Sing me a song my true love Tomorrow,
Sing me song so I never know Sorrow.

Sing me a song, my true love of Yesterday,
Sing me a song of the fae.
Sing me a song of love and glory,
Sing me a song so I'm never lonely.

Sing me a song of love and glory,
Sing me a song of Life.
Sing me a song of far and near
Sing me a song so I'll know your here.

Sing me a song that flows like a river,
Sing me a song of love.
Sing me a song that speaks of the forbidden arts,
Sing me a song so we won't be apart.

Sing me a song of love and hate,
Sing me a song of fire.
Sing me a song of the mist and the rain,
Sing me a song so I'll never know pain.

Heart's Darkness

You wander the darkness in your heart,
Alone in the wind,
So alone,
Let me help you
Dance in the darkness,
No stars,
No moon,
No sun,
No light,
To break this perfect
Darkness.
You,
Who knows me so well,
You who I loved,
You who I still
Love.
The lies I tell you,
They hurt.
All I see are chains,
Cycles,
We live 'til we die,
Then we lie alone
In the ground
As we rot.
But I don't mind,
It's the present that counts,
Right?
Shit, I'm lying again,
I'm crying again,
Break the cycle,
Break the chain,
Let us die,
My love,
Let us die
Together,
And together,
We may dance
In the Heart's Darkness
For all of
The ending Eternity.

All I Can Think

And as I sit in this darkness,
So much like my own,
I can hear what you once told me,
Over and over again.
And as the rain starts falling,
So much like the tears on my face,
I can feel the wind wrap around me,
The only one to comfort me.
And as the cold uncaring stars stare down,
So much like everyone around me,
I can feel my fire burning low,
The ember barely glowing.
And as I sit here waiting,
All I can hear are your words.
And as I sit here crying
All I can think is
You were right.

All I Can Ask

All I ask is to know.
To know that someone cares
If I die.
All I ask is that
Someone notices for longer than
A minute.
Will someone notice
If I'm not there?
Would they cry
Over my death?
Would I deserve it?
One who cannot
Remember
The faces of those
She has known all her life.
The face of the one
She once loved.

The Darkness of Death

When you die
There is no one to say
Your name.
And slowly,
So slowly,
It is forgotten.
Memories
Break away,
Shards of a mirror,
Until the reflection
Is lost to the
Daarkness.
You forget who you
Are,
Your parents, your friends,
Your loves,
All lost to the
Cloying darkness
To which we all
Return.

Do We Feel?

Do we feel the deaths of strangers?
Borne upon an angels wings?
The ravens flock,
And the crows cry,
Mourning the deaths of all.

The griffins fight blood spilling on the ground.
Red trees growing from red ground,
All birds cry,
Cry for the deaths of all.

The glass-shard pieces of lives
Scattered across the world.
Millions of cold lights reflecting off the pieces.
The dragons flame, burning bright.
Sun in the day, moon in the night.
The rain pours down of the corpses of those once loved,
The tears of long lost and forgotten gods.

The empty and lost dreams of humans,
Never to touch the falling skies.
Lost to the magic of the world that was once at their fingertips.

Now all is lost,
Lost to the Dance of the Mayflies.
Lost to the dead,
Drowned in tears.

Now close your eyes and dive into the reality,
The reality of a dead world.
The reality of the manacles and chains
Of this insane sanity.

Now open your eyes and fall into your own mind.
Fall into your own world, and watch the chains fall away.
Line up the pieces and watch life come into play.
This is where I live, where I think, where I feel.
And in my broken world I breathe.
Freer then you will ever know.

“To venture in the Fair Unknown,
I must enter as I leave.
A traveler.
Alone.”

And so does the unknown beckon to me.
The unknown darkness, the unknown death.
This vast space inside me,
That something has yet to fill.

That space where my emotions used to lie.
Now all I feel is an empty ache,
And I smile because that is all I know.
It is an empty smile, an empty laugh, empty words,
Dead of all emotion.

So now I struggle, so now I hurt,
Because that is all I can feel.
Don’t tell me that it’s all in my head,
That it will all go away tomorrow.

Because I have been waiting for the dawn to break,
For tomorrow to come,
But it is just getting darker,
And tomorrow will never come for me.

Because this reality has caught me in an iron cage,
All my memories,
All my emotions,
And even my soul,
Caught in that Other World.

And now I tell you,
And now I say,
If all you have learned is to stay away.

Away from your mind,
And away from the Other World,
So be it.

It is better than feeling nothing.
Nothing but pain and rage.

Concentrate

Concentrate
Breathing slowed, listening to the rhythmic respiration, the pounding of her own heart.
Concentrate
Reaching farther back into the darkness that was slowly consuming her mind.
Concentrate
Fire leapt and played around her, and she danced for a brief time among the flames before running on, further back into her mind.
Concentrate
Rain poured down around her, and she danced alongside the lightning and thunder before she ran on.
Concentrate
Where was it? Past the guardians of flame and water, into the darkness she ran.

People Are So Blind

People are so blind
Aren’t they?
They see all they want to see
And not a single thing more.
When I am seen
All they see is my smile,
The carefree smile
Of an idiot and
They need not look further
For fear of what they may see
And what they may learn
May be too much to bear.
For if they cared
To look further into my heart
Further into my soul
And the darkness that I am
Eternally lost in
They may hear and see,
The pain in my voice
The sadness in my smile.
For the one they laugh at
Is not really an idiot at all,
But one tired of explaining things
That they refuse to hear
And showing things
That they refuse to see.

We Are All Dreaming

We are all dreaming, how the dream changes is dependent on the threads that bind us together. On occasion our threads get tangled and we can no longer see a clear line from A to B, let alone walk it, but then something happens, someone comes into your life or a random event results in something beautiful, and then suddenly the correct string is pulled and we can see that straight line again. The sun grows dark and chaos has come again, strange how darkness and chaos are always seen the same and yet when things are dark chaos cannot be seen and everything is ordered and safe. Life and people are getting so tangled and twisted that no one person or event can unravel them, everything is confusing and the dream is going strange in a way that I don't understand until the lights are out and all I can see is a field of fireflies and a sky of stars and I can finally think and breathe and things make sense again.

Angel of Darkness

Books speak of forgiveness
They all preach the same
But as I walk these empty streets
...stop hurting me...
Where no one knows me
And no one cares
Who will forgive me?
...stop hurting me...
But as I walk these empty streets
Where no one dares to tread
And I hear so many crying in the night
...stop hurting me...
And no one wants to know the past
Who will forgive them that live behind
These glowing windows
Yellow jack-o-lantern eyes glaring in darkened houses
...stop hurting me...
Cigarette burns and tears on a stained pillow
Betrayed by ones so close
Fear and anger and sorrow and bewilderment
All rain down from above
...stop hurting me...
Like feathers shed by a bird
That has seen the places they will never see.
And as I walk these empty streets
Where the moon is my only companion
Where darkness is my only friend
Where silence is my only joy
I think about these lives that no one knows
And no one wants
...stop hurting me...
Can't you hear the screams?
...stop hurting me...
...stop hurting me...
...stop hurting me...
...stop hurting me...
...stop hurting me...
...stop hurting me...
...stop hurting me...

Faking It

Tell me that you love me,
Don't matter if it ain't true.
Tell me that you love me,
I'll spend the night with you.
You can call me by your ex's name,
If it makes you feel alright,
It don't matter to me, babe
Let's just dance throughout the night.